I IMAGINE

I have learned a lot about living through the dying

One of the lessons I have learned is that all we all leave this earth on equal ground.  If being rich or being poor is perceived by material wealth and gains, then we all leave equally poor. Maybe 5 minutes prior to death you were living in a mansion with millions in your bank account, or living in a one bedroom house  with $600 social security check in your account. When you leave, you will leave with nothing. Everyone equal.

People will go through your material things and split it up between family members. Maybe they will  fight over it, even though someday they too will have to give it up. Maybe they won't see the value you placed on a material item, and dispose of it. I can't help but wonder what our perspective is on those things once we die and leave it all behind.  Does it hold the same value? Do we miss it?

If material things were so important shouldn't it be possible to take it all with us? If that is the purpose for us being here is to make and keep as much as possible for ourselves, I would think we could take it all with us.

I personally think it's all an illusion. A distraction that keeps us from what we are really here on this earth for. And I think we buy into because we are afraid. Afraid of death. We are afraid of not having value, making  difference, living to our full potential.

But I imagine that when we die,  our value won't lie on whether we were a CEO or janitor. It won't  be based on our bank accounts or titles.  It will be based on the love we exchanged with others. It will be how rich we are in love.

I imagine if there is a heaven there won't be imaginary borders  (property, city, state, country) that separate me from others. we won't be separated by class, color, culture.

I imagine that if there is a heaven and I get to be there, I won't be looking at those around me and say, " I am so glad I didn't help you. I am so glad that I didn't give up any of my material wealth, That I no longer own myself to help you"...I imagine that.

I also wonder that if it was God who made earth. Then he must be the landlord. He must be the owner of all. So really anything I have now doesn't belong to me. it belongs to him. I am just borrowing it for a time. So if my material things aren't really mine, then why do I have such a hard time sharing? If God is the owner and he is giving it all to me to use as I need.  It would make him the ultimate sharer. He is showing me what it really means to give, and share.

If it is so easy for God to make this planet and give it all away for our use, then why do we feel so threatened at having to share it? Why do we feel entitled to keep as much of it ourselves while we are here?  Why do I feel so threatened about sharing something that isn't even mine? I imagine that if God is the creator of all of us and he put all of us on this earth, it was meant to be shared.

So maybe success isn't based on material things. Maybe our value isn't attached to titles, status, material wealth. Then what is success based on?  I imagine it is based on the things we do take with us.

So what do we take with us? We take with us our love, our mental and emotional suffering, we take with us our grievances, our forgiveness, our compassion, our empathy, our judgments, our understanding. We take with us peace or despair.

I imagine that is where our success lies. And No one or no circumstance can take, those things away from us.

So if it is a possibility that is where my success lies, and that should be my focus while I am here. And maybe I should spend less time worrying if I am giving too much financially to those in need. Worrying about those that seem to need more financially then me. Using more financial resources than I am. Maybe worry more about whether or not I am loving them. worry if I am being empathetic, compassionate.

Why not create heaven on earth?

I have been in a position of having to use food stamps, WIC, family assistance, church food in my life because I didn't make enough.  I have also been in a position where my husband and I make a six figure income and have shelves of food. I have been in a position where I was denied health care because I didn't have insurance. I have also had the luxury of having two insurances which allowed me to have access to needed health care. I have been in a position where the only wheels I owned belonged on my children's stroller. I have also been in a position where I am the owner of multiple cars. I have been in a position where my whole apt fit in my living and dining room.

The only real difference between my life before and my life now, is people's perception of me. Internally I am still the same person. The person who loves people with a passion. It was others perception. People confusing my value by my bank account.

And here is the truth of it for me. I am rich in both situations. Poverty allowed me to accumulate a wealth of compassion, non-judgment, empathy, humility. It helped me find my real value. My real contribution to the world. It helped prepare me with skills I needed to live a happy life and do the work I do. 

Imagine how HEAVENLY this earthly life would be if everyone was greedy for love! Everyone's  SOUL purpose was to love everyone they came in contact with. To make one's life purpose to understand others.

Imagine how HEAVENLY this earthly life would be if we didn't worry about what  our neighbor was doing or not doing, contributing, not contributing.  But rather the focus be on how well we loved them despite those things. 

When I die, I hope others say how loving, and compassionate I was. How well I treated others. I hope that I take so much love with me my body can barely contain it all.